Getting The Weight Off Your Shoulders
“I don’t think the weight will ever come off until the weight on my shoulders comes off”
-Valerie Bertinelli
Valerie Bertinelli, a TV star from the 1980’s, has been in the news a lot lately. Not sure if you have read or seen anything about her story, but she has been the subject of much conversation and sadly some of that conversation has not been all that kind.
She bravely took her food and weight battle public and chronicled her weight loss success to only a few years later finding herself regaining all the weight back on the public stage. Social media, while she was out making a living as chef and author, was cutting with fat shamming insulting comments regarding her weight gain. But, despite the haters she is trying to use her fame to highlight the struggle with a new process that she hopes will lead to a lasting lifestyle change.
She recently stated she now understands that there has been a missing piece to her weight loss battle. She is now looking inward and gaining an understanding as to why and how she uses food for something more than nutrition and occasional enjoyment. She has hired a coach and is seeking a change within. Her comment above highlights the knowledge she has gained about her struggle that hasn’t been fixed through her dieting or weight loss.
The pounds won’t come off until the weight of what she carries on her shoulders is removed. In other words, she needs to release the pressure or feelings she carries that trigger her overeating behaviors. I also connected with another quote of hers. “I am an everything is fine gal and I use food to avoid sadness and it is time to make a change.” It makes sense if you are an everything is fine kind of person as you may feel there is no where to go with your emotions because you feel obligated to be fine. Food turns into the medicine or a stop gap allowing us to avoid or suppress those feelings that are unable to be stated. When an emotional process lacks an outlet, the human condition is to find another way to release what feels necessary. That release can be from eating something that tastes good, having a few drinks or a lot of drinks, talking a walk, shopping or compulsively shopping, it can be any number of things and not all of them healthy.
While many of us can’t hire a coach to guide us in the process of change, counseling provides an opportunity to end the diet cycle, understand what is eating you, establish new patterns of coping and take the weight off of your shoulders. There is healing in that process creating behavioral change.
I encourage you to take the liberating step Valerie Bertinelli took and begin the process of unpacking your stuff or taking the weight off of your shoulders. It does take courage and commitment to engage in the process, but it can be so freeing and allows for incredible personal growth.
Life is far too short, as again we are reminded on a daily basis. You deserve to be able to enjoy it, to surround yourself with those you love, truly feel the love, feel deserving of it and feel a strong sense of pride in who you are as a person. That is what happens when the weight comes off of your shoulders.
Nancy Albus LPC, NCC, CEDS
